Colchester

Wednesday | 20:00-22:00

United Way Colchester, CO4 5UP

Welcome to MAN v FAT Colchester. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed).

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Hello and welcome to MAN v FAT Football Colchester. The first step is often the most difficult and now you have taken that step I am looking forward to helping you on your weight loss journey.

Tom Irving , Coach, Colchester

see what our players have been up to

Leaderboard

Season Twenty-Eight | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Pork Vale (Blue)
3
3
6
2
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
3
3
6
3
Lardiff City (Black)
3
2
4
4
Man Titty (Orange)
3
1
2
5
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
3
0
0
6
Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
3
0
0

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 3 3 0 0 48 29 19 6
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 3 3 0 0 40 28 12 6
Lardiff City (Black) 3 2 0 1 32 26 6 4
Man Titty (Orange) 3 1 0 2 29 39 -10 2
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 3 0 0 3 30 36 -6 0
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 3 0 0 3 30 51 -21 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 3 3 0 0 27 9 18 6
Pork Vale (Blue) 3 3 0 0 26 12 14 6
Lardiff City (Black) 3 2 0 1 17 15 2 4
Man Titty (Orange) 3 1 0 2 21 18 3 2
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 3 0 0 3 13 21 -8 0
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 3 0 0 3 6 35 -29 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Lardiff City (Black) 3 3 0 0 7 3 4 6
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 3 2 0 1 19 10 9 4
Pork Vale (Blue) 3 2 0 1 15 11 4 4
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 3 1 0 2 9 8 1 2
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 3 1 0 2 6 14 -8 2
Man Titty (Orange) 3 0 0 3 3 13 -10 0
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Luke Clements 14.00 22.10%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Paul Dolden 9.00 8.39%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Smith 9.00 5.04%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren Pearce 6.00 2.89%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Reece Currie 5.00 8.55%
Lardiff City (Black) Raj Nakum 5.00 2.24%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jan Lawlor 4.00 0.80%
Pork Vale (Blue) Paul Gibbs 3.00 7.22%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Charlie Fox 3.00 3.20%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jonathan Nottage 3.00 2.74%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Justin Boswick 3.00 2.00%
Pork Vale (Blue) James Webster 2.50 4.19%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Graham Lawlor 2.50 1.78%
Lardiff City (Black) Thomas Nind 2.50 0.78%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jason Wiggins 2.50 0.61%
Lardiff City (Black) Jon Graham 2.50 0.61%
Pork Vale (Blue) Robert Skipper 2.50 0.53%
Man Titty (Orange) James Culling 1.50 1.28%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Simon Durrant 1.50 0.32%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) James Crooks 1.00 4.87%
Man Titty (Orange) Dan Fish 1.00 4.21%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) seth dodson 1.00 3.18%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Richard Lessemun 1.00 1.21%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Toby Fox-Hammond 1.00 1.19%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Kevin Ballard 1.00 0.94%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Lee De’ath 1.00 0.80%
Man Titty (Orange) Leigh Alston 1.00 0.69%
Man Titty (Orange) Tony Harrison 1.00 0.52%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gary Robinson 1.00 0.20%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren White 0.50 2.01%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) David Langston 0.50 1.86%
Pork Vale (Blue) Sam pritchard 0.50 1.85%
Lardiff City (Black) Jake Towns 0.50 1.76%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jamie Whiteside 0.50 1.29%
Lardiff City (Black) Jim Lister 0.50 0.50%
Lardiff City (Black) Michael Lister 0.50 0.34%
Man Titty (Orange) Luke Wicks 0.50 0.30%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Warren Hallworth 0.50 0.22%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Andrew Fergus 0.50 0.19%

Upcoming Cup Matches

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 21:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    16 - 6
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    15 - 14
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 6
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

 

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:30
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 21:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:30
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:30
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 9
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    6 - 15
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    9 - 19
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 28 May

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 14
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 8
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 14 May

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    13 - 15
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 8
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 16
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)