Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Friday | 20:10-22:30
Stoneham Lane Football Complex, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh, SO16 2PA
Welcome to MAN v FAT Eastleigh. This is an active Club but, at present, there is a waiting list for places. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed). You may qualify for funding via Hampshire County Council for members registering with a Hampshire County Council Postcode (Excludes Portsmouth & Southampton - you'll be able to see if you're eligible before you make a payment to register.
As a original Season 1 player from MvF Eastleigh, my journey has taken me from player, to facilitator to Coach. I'm dedicated to helping individuals achieve their health and weight loss goals through the power of football. With a love for team sports, I believe regular exercise and diet should be fun, interesting and inclusive! Having seen the transformative effects of combining physical activity with wider-team support and tracking progress, MvF Eastleigh is a welcoming environment for all skill levels, whether you’re a seasoned player or a beginner. The team and I are here to motivate and guide you on your journey to better health. With personalized coaching, nutritional programs and engaging challenges, we empower all team members to reach their goals while enjoying a weekly game of Football!
Joe Cooper, Coach, Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Leaderboard
Season Sixteen | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Cholesterol Palace (Red)
3
3
6
2
Chubby Custards (Yellow)
3
2
4
3
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
3
2
4
4
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
3
2
4
5
Diabético Madrid (Pink)
3
1
3
6
Ozempiacos (Black)
3
1
2
7
Flaberdeen FC (Green)
3
1
2
8
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
3
1
2
9
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
3
1
2
10
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
3
0
1
“I started half the man and twice the person, and I’ve come out half the person but twice the man.”
Harry Spacagna
Latest league fixtures / results
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 47 | 23 | 24 | 6 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 27 | 20 | 7 | 4 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 28 | 26 | 2 | 4 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 27 | 30 | -3 | 4 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 19 | 22 | -3 | 3 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 21 | 21 | 0 | 2 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 15 | 18 | -3 | 2 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 16 | 20 | -4 | 2 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 27 | 40 | -13 | 2 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 15 | 22 | -7 | 1 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 5 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 4 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 4 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 4 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 4 |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 10 | 5 | 5 | 3 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | -2 | 3 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 5 | 2 | 2 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | -2 | 1 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 18 | -13 | 0 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 24 | 9 | 15 | 6 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 13 | 9 | 4 | 4 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 13 | 12 | 1 | 4 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 6 | -1 | 4 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 14 | 18 | -4 | 4 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 12 | 11 | 1 | 2 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 7 | -3 | 2 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 13 | -4 | 2 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 12 | -4 | 2 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 10 | -5 | 0 |
| Team | Player | Weight Score | Loss Percentage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Brian Birch | 9.00 | 8.43% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | James Nash | 8.00 | 3.30% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Timothy Shipwey | 6.00 | 7.72% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Nygel West | 6.00 | 5.25% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Steven Topazio | 6.00 | 2.63% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Craig Frampton | 5.50 | 5.71% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Michael Barrow | 5.50 | 5.58% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Kevin West | 5.50 | 2.79% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Thomas simons | 5.50 | 2.62% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Mike Stephens | 5.50 | 1.76% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Gary Young | 5.00 | 2.49% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Brian Edwards | 4.50 | 2.33% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Sam Scott | 4.00 | 5.90% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | David Ray | 4.00 | 2.25% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Oscar Easton | 3.50 | 1.81% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Kieran James | 3.50 | 0.22% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jack Sherred | 3.00 | 2.03% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Darren Hall | 2.50 | 3.44% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Jonathan Rumsey | 2.50 | 3.37% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Lloyd Thomas | 2.50 | 2.96% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Jonathon Canning | 2.50 | 2.16% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | James Lacey | 2.50 | 1.91% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Adam Hunt | 2.50 | 1.85% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Richard Moseley | 2.50 | 1.23% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Matthew King | 2.50 | 1.13% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | David Bradford | 2.50 | 1.12% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Michael Wedge | 2.50 | 1.12% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Nathan Middleton | 2.50 | 0.45% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Chris Hescott | 2.00 | 2.15% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Oliver Hollman | 2.00 | 0.42% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Michael Salt | 2.00 | 0.33% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Corey Martin | 1.50 | 2.77% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Scott Exell | 1.50 | 2.49% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Mark Holman | 1.50 | 0.87% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Lewis King | 1.50 | 0.63% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Richard Homer | 1.00 | 2.20% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Steve Jones | 1.00 | 1.48% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Alan McDonald | 1.00 | 1.40% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Ashley Healey | 1.00 | 1.15% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Paul Russell | 1.00 | 0.83% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Matthew Cook | 1.00 | 0.73% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Bradley Evans | 1.00 | 0.66% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Joshua Reynolds | 1.00 | 0.58% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Daniel Andrews | 1.00 | 0.44% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Matthew Stewart | 1.00 | 0.11% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Darren Cawte | 1.00 | 0.08% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jonathan Mottram | 0.50 | 1.87% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Jack Quinton | 0.50 | 1.42% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | JON BROOK | 0.50 | 1.33% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Nick Freemantle | 0.50 | 0.96% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | David Godfrey | 0.50 | 0.83% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Chris Wareham | 0.50 | 0.75% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Dave Carey | 0.50 | 0.71% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Nigel Lane | 0.50 | 0.65% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Karl Bernstien | 0.50 | 0.58% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Christopher Addoo | 0.50 | 0.39% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Mike Minnis | 0.50 | 0.37% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Thomas Downer | 0.50 | 0.33% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Aidan Stanley | 0.50 | 0.00% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Ryan Bishop | 0.50 | 0.00% |
Upcoming Cup Matches
-
Friday 07 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 07 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:20Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 07 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:40Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 07 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:50Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 07 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 21:10Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 05 December
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:50Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 05 December
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 21:10Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
Recent Cup Match Results
-
Friday 10 October
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)3 - 9Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 5Chubby Custards (Yellow)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)11 - 8Diabético Madrid (Pink)Flaberdeen FC (Green)9 - 9Cholesterol Palace (Red)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)8 - 5Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 07 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
-
Friday 24 October
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 24 October
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:20Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 24 October
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 24 October
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:50Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 24 October
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 21:10Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 31 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:10ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 31 October
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:20Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 31 October
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 20:40Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 31 October
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)VS 20:50Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 31 October
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 21:10Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:10Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 14 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:20Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 14 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 20:40Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 14 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:50Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 21:10Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 21 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 21 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:20Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 21 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:40Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 21 November
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 20:50Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 21 November
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)VS 21:10Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 28 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:10Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 28 November
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:20Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 28 November
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 20:40Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 28 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 20:50Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 28 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 21:10ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 20:10Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 12 December
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)VS 20:20Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 12 December
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:40Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 12 December
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:50ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 21:10Flaberdeen FC (Green)
Tap score to see breakdown.
-
Friday 17 October
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)11 - 7Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Cholesterol Palace (Red)19 - 8Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Diabético Madrid (Pink)7 - 11Ozempiacos (Black)Chubby Custards (Yellow)9 - 7ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)3 - 7Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 03 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)8 - 5Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Diabético Madrid (Pink)5 - 4Flaberdeen FC (Green)Chubby Custards (Yellow)8 - 9Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)8 - 5Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)6 - 3ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 26 September
Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 6ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)10 - 13Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Flaberdeen FC (Green)4 - 10Chubby Custards (Yellow)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)7 - 7Diabético Madrid (Pink)Cholesterol Palace (Red)20 - 10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 24 October
Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 31 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 21 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 28 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)