Colchester

Wednesday | 20:00-22:00

United Way Colchester, CO4 5UP

Welcome to MAN v FAT Colchester. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed).

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Hello and welcome to MAN v FAT Football Colchester. The first step is often the most difficult and now you have taken that step I am looking forward to helping you on your weight loss journey.

Tom Irving , Coach, Colchester

see what our players have been up to

Leaderboard

Season Twenty-Eight | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Pork Vale (Blue)
5
5
10
2
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
5
4
8
3
Lardiff City (Black)
5
2
4
4
Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
5
2
4
5
Man Titty (Orange)
5
1
3
6
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
5
0
1

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 5 5 0 0 85 52 33 10
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 5 4 0 1 60 51 9 8
Lardiff City (Black) 5 2 0 3 49 46 3 4
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 5 2 0 3 57 74 -17 4
Man Titty (Orange) 5 1 1 3 53 65 -12 3
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 5 0 1 4 52 68 -16 1
P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 5 5 0 0 50 26 24 10
Lardiff City (Black) 5 4 0 1 27 22 5 8
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 5 3 0 2 40 26 14 6
Man Titty (Orange) 5 3 0 2 37 26 11 6
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 5 0 0 5 24 44 -20 0
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 5 0 0 5 11 45 -34 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 5 4 0 1 36 17 19 8
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 5 3 0 2 16 10 6 6
Pork Vale (Blue) 5 3 0 2 21 16 5 6
Lardiff City (Black) 5 3 0 2 8 11 -3 6
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 5 2 0 3 8 16 -8 4
Man Titty (Orange) 5 0 0 5 7 26 -19 0
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Luke Clements 17.00 22.20%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Paul Dolden 11.00 11.19%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Smith 11.00 5.85%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Reece Currie 8.00 6.61%
Lardiff City (Black) Raj Nakum 8.00 5.24%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren Pearce 8.00 3.92%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jan Lawlor 6.00 2.25%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jonathan Nottage 5.00 3.98%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Charlie Fox 5.00 3.64%
Pork Vale (Blue) Paul Gibbs 3.50 8.44%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Richard Lessemun 3.00 4.92%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Justin Boswick 3.00 1.38%
Lardiff City (Black) Jon Graham 3.00 1.28%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Graham Lawlor 3.00 1.19%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gary Robinson 3.00 0.31%
Man Titty (Orange) Dan Fish 2.50 5.07%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) James Crooks 2.50 4.98%
Pork Vale (Blue) James Webster 2.50 4.19%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Lee De’ath 2.50 1.78%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Toby Fox-Hammond 2.50 1.47%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Simon Durrant 2.50 1.44%
Man Titty (Orange) Tony Harrison 2.50 0.84%
Pork Vale (Blue) Robert Skipper 2.50 0.53%
Man Titty (Orange) James Culling 2.00 3.70%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jason Wiggins 2.00 -0.30%
Pork Vale (Blue) Daniel Connellan 1.50 0.65%
Lardiff City (Black) Thomas Nind 1.50 0.00%
Pork Vale (Blue) Sam pritchard 1.00 3.48%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) seth dodson 1.00 3.18%
Lardiff City (Black) Jake Towns 1.00 2.38%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Andrew Fergus 1.00 2.28%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren White 1.00 2.11%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) David Langston 1.00 1.55%
Lardiff City (Black) Jim Lister 1.00 0.83%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Kevin Ballard 1.00 0.73%
Man Titty (Orange) Leigh Alston 1.00 0.69%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) David Ainsworth 1.00 0.07%
Lardiff City (Black) Rick Hall 0.50 2.48%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Damian Lidster 0.50 2.20%
Man Titty (Orange) Jamie Watson 0.50 0.48%
Man Titty (Orange) Luke Wicks 0.50 0.30%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Warren Hallworth 0.50 0.22%

Upcoming Cup Matches

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 21:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    16 - 6
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    15 - 14
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 6
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

 

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:30
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:30
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    23 - 13
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 10
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    15 - 17
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    8 - 10
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    14 - 10
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    9 - 9
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 9
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    6 - 15
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    9 - 19
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 28 May

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 14
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 8
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 14 May

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    13 - 15
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 8
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 16
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)